If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
