I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
