I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
