at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
