in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I would ride that face into the sunset
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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