We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
