you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
