I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
