Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just cropdusted the office
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
