oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
someone owes me an orgasm
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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