Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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