How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
