I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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