dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Found the puke drawer
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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