Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
