I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
