Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
