just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
