Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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