He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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