I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Someone signed my nipple.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
