Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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