Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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