someone threw a dead crab at me
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
