what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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