dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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