Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Randomize
