This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
