She said her name was "party"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Randomize
