Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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