I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
