Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
