remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
