I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
