There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
