STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
