I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
