Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
