I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
