so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
