So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You can't special order awesome
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
