Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize