You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
