Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
