I cockslap morals
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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