ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
