Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
