so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
