it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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