yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
