I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
