if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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