Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
