Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
