Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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