never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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