You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
