But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
