I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
