I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Randomize
