I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
