the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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