She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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