Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I need moral support for this bender
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
