I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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