I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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