Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
