just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
