I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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