I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
