Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
