Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize