it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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