Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize