I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
