Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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